I often compare myself to others and ask, “Am I good enough?” despite knowing I shouldn’t compare others to myself. But I can’t help it.
I feel fat and ugly almost all the time. I know I have nice features, but…I don’t feel like they’re enough. I don’t feel good enough. People think I’m great, but I don’t see it. People think I’m beautiful, but they must be blind. No beauty here.
There is nothing worse than having to explain over and over how awful you feel and why, just to have your feelings invalidated.
I just have an extremely low self-esteem. I’ve lived with it forever, so obviously I’m going to be slipping back into my habits of comparing myself to others. It’s something I need to work on, but it’s hard.
Not too much has gotten done. I’m exploring my characters. I see similarities in some of my characters and me. I’m not sure if I like it. I can’t resolve my own flaws, so how am I supposed to attack theirs? It kinda sucks.
I cannot even say CS chapter 1 will be done. I’m working on the story itself, and I’d rather have that down before starting something I won’t be able to finish.
I apologize for my posts that have been mostly about me and not so much about my writing. I’m trying really hard, but it’s become difficult to motivate myself to even finish a page.
That’s it for this post. See you all on page 12.